If I watch “Jon & Kate +8” for more than seven minutes at a time it makes me never want to have children. While I realize that Jon seems like a responsibility shirking man-child, Kate seems to never believe that he can do anything correctly if it’s not done her way. Seriously, how many ways is there to wipe oatmeal off of a kid’s face? Just clean it.
At the beginning of our long walk to freedom from debt I knew that we would have plenty of people spewing forth negativity & all the reasons why debt cannot be conquered. But what I didn’t realize was once we began overcoming some of the debt that some people would still be negative despite our good results.
I have found out that just because we’re not doing it their way that they really believe we’re not doing it at all. This is what I call “The Kate Gosselin Effect” & I’ve been on the receiving end of it a time or two. While I don’t generally begin conversations about our debt quest, I do chime in sometimes when it’s brought up in conversation.
An instance of the Kate Gosselin Effect was when I told someone we are paying $25 extra a month on our car payment. It’s not a huge amount & there are other places I could put it. However, $25 is not such an outstanding amount that I would do serious damage with it on another bill. But if left in my pocket that same $25 could be spent each month on various items & I would likely not miss it. So I designate it. I make it work for me. I tell it where to go.
By our calculations we will have the car paid off early already. But by throwing that extra $25 a month on it, I can spare myself of four months of payments. I’m aware that this $25 does not apply towards the principle like it would if I paid it extra on the house. Car financing generally charges all of the interest up front in the loan. However, every $25 that I pay now is $25 I don’t have to pay later. I am $25 closer to being debt free.
I received blatant criticism from the person I was talking to & they declared (Not Michael Scott style declaring) that I should be paying it extra on another bill. I explained my reasoning & they continued for some time to let me know how wrong I was. I ended the conversation with, “Debt free is debt free no matter how you get there.” They had no response.
Listen, until they sit at my house & cut coupons for me to save that $25 then their opinion really doesn’t matter. When they start making their way out of debt & change their spending behavior then maybe I’ll find their advice valuable. Until then, your advice doesn’t apply to me.
For the life of me I cannot understand why people think I will lay awake at night recalling their opinions of my financial decisions. My way may not work for you but that doesn’t mean you can’t be debt free or more frugal. Because no matter which frugal way you decide to work your finances, the bottom line is that you will be more financially set than you were yesterday.
So take that financial Kate Gosselin’s! I don’t believe my method is the only way but I do know that it’s working. In the words of Dave Ramsey, “Live today like no one else & tomorrow you will live like no one else.”
You got it Dave. :)
Nevertheless ~
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
“The Freezer Chronicles”
Jason & I have been saving up for a nice upright freezer for some time now. Basically, I’m tired of being so busy after work. After work I usually find myself in a frenzy of appointments & stops to be made before I go home. Those appointments often consist of the chiropractor, allergy clinic, hair appointments, grocery store, & whatever else has taken priority. By the time I get home to start dinner & do homework, I’m usually ready to fall over.
In an effort to minimize grocery store stops we purchased a membership to Sam’s Club at the beginning of August. Our goal was to purchase as much as we could for the month & then only buy veggies or fresh fruits weekly as needed. We’ve been contemplating buying a nice freezer for some time now & getting the Sam’s membership really made our choice for us. We did spend half of our monthly budget on food at the beginning of the month & it took a few hours along with a trip to Sam’s out of our time.
This has already been a great choice for us because last week the only item I stopped for on the way home was milk & I did not have to go out of my way thanks to the Dollar General on the way home. I was able to go straight home more days than not & get started on my homework before my husband came home.
Yesterday we purchased our freezer sort of on a whim. Jason & I both discuss large purchases for a long time before buying. With all the Labor Day sales in effect we decided sort of last minute to stop at Sears to check their freezers out. We found one we liked for $450 plus tax with free next day delivery. It was basic & did nothing except freeze food. However, for Sears card holders they were offering another 5% off the purchase.
I love to bargain. I love to negotiate. I’m my dad made over when it comes to sales & my favorite job ever was a sales position. I will nearly always ask for a better bargain & I will walk away when I don’t feel I’ve been given a fair price. Yesterday I asked the Sears salesman if he would be willing to drop 5% for me if I pay in cash & take the freezer today. Right now. Presto & you’ve made a sale.
He said no. I asked him if the manager would be willing to talk to me. He said no. Eh, no big deal to me. I don’t need the commission & there’s no harm in asking. But then he said something that really surprised me. He said, “Cash doesn’t talk like it used to.” Then he offered to open a credit card for me. I was nice but I was firm when I said, “That’s not going to happen.” He then tried to give me a good reason for opening the credit card…the coveted 5% off. I said, “I’m not interested in giving Sears more money than this freezer is worth.”
He was nice & we were nice. But we weren’t budging. So off we went to Lowe’s where I’ve always had incredible customer service. They seem to appreciate my money no matter what form it comes in. We found a better model freezer with a digital thermostat & a locking feature for $428 with 10% off & free delivery was included. By the time everything was said & done with we had purchased the freezer for $412 tax & all. Lowe’s also attempted to offer me a credit card & I told him that we were paying with cash.
I learned yesterday that cash may not talk everywhere. But that’s not what is important. Cash talks to ME. It’s freedom baby & I like it. Paying with cash yesterday was a great feeling & today we’re not anyone’s slave. (Proverbs 22:7) We worked hard to save & we met our goal. We didn’t prematurely buy it before we could afford it.
I’m not belittling anyone who has had to open an account to make such purchases. Lowe’s saved my bacon a couple of years ago by issuing me a card when I was single & badly needed a water heater. But now things are different. The emergency fund is in place, we are working on our savings account, & we are living below our means. We plan now for things we need later instead of spending money tomorrow for purchases we made today.
My cash is talking & I like what it says. :)
Nevertheless ~
In an effort to minimize grocery store stops we purchased a membership to Sam’s Club at the beginning of August. Our goal was to purchase as much as we could for the month & then only buy veggies or fresh fruits weekly as needed. We’ve been contemplating buying a nice freezer for some time now & getting the Sam’s membership really made our choice for us. We did spend half of our monthly budget on food at the beginning of the month & it took a few hours along with a trip to Sam’s out of our time.
This has already been a great choice for us because last week the only item I stopped for on the way home was milk & I did not have to go out of my way thanks to the Dollar General on the way home. I was able to go straight home more days than not & get started on my homework before my husband came home.
Yesterday we purchased our freezer sort of on a whim. Jason & I both discuss large purchases for a long time before buying. With all the Labor Day sales in effect we decided sort of last minute to stop at Sears to check their freezers out. We found one we liked for $450 plus tax with free next day delivery. It was basic & did nothing except freeze food. However, for Sears card holders they were offering another 5% off the purchase.
I love to bargain. I love to negotiate. I’m my dad made over when it comes to sales & my favorite job ever was a sales position. I will nearly always ask for a better bargain & I will walk away when I don’t feel I’ve been given a fair price. Yesterday I asked the Sears salesman if he would be willing to drop 5% for me if I pay in cash & take the freezer today. Right now. Presto & you’ve made a sale.
He said no. I asked him if the manager would be willing to talk to me. He said no. Eh, no big deal to me. I don’t need the commission & there’s no harm in asking. But then he said something that really surprised me. He said, “Cash doesn’t talk like it used to.” Then he offered to open a credit card for me. I was nice but I was firm when I said, “That’s not going to happen.” He then tried to give me a good reason for opening the credit card…the coveted 5% off. I said, “I’m not interested in giving Sears more money than this freezer is worth.”
He was nice & we were nice. But we weren’t budging. So off we went to Lowe’s where I’ve always had incredible customer service. They seem to appreciate my money no matter what form it comes in. We found a better model freezer with a digital thermostat & a locking feature for $428 with 10% off & free delivery was included. By the time everything was said & done with we had purchased the freezer for $412 tax & all. Lowe’s also attempted to offer me a credit card & I told him that we were paying with cash.
I learned yesterday that cash may not talk everywhere. But that’s not what is important. Cash talks to ME. It’s freedom baby & I like it. Paying with cash yesterday was a great feeling & today we’re not anyone’s slave. (Proverbs 22:7) We worked hard to save & we met our goal. We didn’t prematurely buy it before we could afford it.
I’m not belittling anyone who has had to open an account to make such purchases. Lowe’s saved my bacon a couple of years ago by issuing me a card when I was single & badly needed a water heater. But now things are different. The emergency fund is in place, we are working on our savings account, & we are living below our means. We plan now for things we need later instead of spending money tomorrow for purchases we made today.
My cash is talking & I like what it says. :)
Nevertheless ~
Friday, September 04, 2009
"And another one bites the dust!"
Wow, I'm feeling good today! Today I was able to write a check for the last payment on one of our debts! I am so super pumped. On days like today, the budget doesn't seem so bad. :)
Every time we pay off a debt it's just more incentive to get intense & pay off the next one. We have three left & that includes Jason's car. It's on now baby. We can do this!
Nevertheless ~
Every time we pay off a debt it's just more incentive to get intense & pay off the next one. We have three left & that includes Jason's car. It's on now baby. We can do this!
Nevertheless ~
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
“Budget Roundup: End ‘O August”
Jase & I decided to have an end of the month chit chat last night so we could discuss where we are with our budget. It’s a time that I really look forward to because it keeps him involved, we’re able to make new goals, & talk about long term goals.
I’m excited to say that August turned out to be a pretty good month for us & we came out ahead in several areas. There were a couple of things that set us back but despite that we actually did pretty well. We’re both encouraged & talking things over last night really lit that fire again to keep pursuing Operation: SqueezeThe$.
High Points of August –
We lowered our utility bill by $81! W00t! In July our utility bill rolled in at a hefty $239. We don’t have any trees surrounding our place (yeah, yeah, I know we should plant some) so we have sunshine all day on our home. It hurts to pay a bill that high when no one is home all day. So we decided to unplug all unused electronics, crank our thermostat up as high as our pooch can stand it, & keep the lights turned off in rooms we’re not in. The results are in & the bill for August is $159. That’s August folks. When I told Jay how well that worked he was equally shocked. We expected it would go down about $20 or $30. We never expected an $81 drop. So, we have another $81 to pile on a debt.
We shaved our grocery budget even more. Although I tried to bring our grocery budget in at $250, it finally settled at $300. I’ve told a couple of people what our grocery budget is & they just kind of look at me like it’s no big deal. The thing is we’re not eating out. We have a TIGHT restaurant budget set at $30 a month. That means every other meal is eaten from home. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. That budget rounds out to aprox. $4.84 per person per day & lands at about $1.61 per meal. It just can’t get much cheaper than that. If someone is eating out a lot then a $300 food budget doesn’t seem that frugal. For instance, I viewed another person’s budget & they allow $200 for groceries & $200 for eating out per month.
Low Points of August –
My family was down from Michigan & we had our annual Christmas in August. This was not a happiness low point by any means because we were able to spend time with our family. Budget wise it’s a low point because the money spent on gifts was not previously budgeted in. August was our first real month on a strict budget & planning. The previous months we were trying our own way & working on creating a plan for our little family. Previous to August we were like my mom stepping into a swimming pool – One step & screech at a time. =)
Another unexpected expense was my allergy & bronchitis medication. OUCH. That squeezed us pretty hard. We could have taken the funds out of our emergency fund but we really try not to touch that money so we paid it from our monthly income. Because there were no generics for what I was prescribed, the outcome wasn’t fun at all.
All in all we’re very happy with our August budget. I’ve heard that it takes about 3 months of budgeting before you actually get it right & it’s doable. I’ve also heard it takes 30 days to make a habit. August was our budget habit forming month & I know September will be completed with a better mindset. Our goal for September is to pay the last $265 of a debt & kill it. It’s time to get intense so we can eliminate payments!
Nevertheless ~
I’m excited to say that August turned out to be a pretty good month for us & we came out ahead in several areas. There were a couple of things that set us back but despite that we actually did pretty well. We’re both encouraged & talking things over last night really lit that fire again to keep pursuing Operation: SqueezeThe$.
High Points of August –
We lowered our utility bill by $81! W00t! In July our utility bill rolled in at a hefty $239. We don’t have any trees surrounding our place (yeah, yeah, I know we should plant some) so we have sunshine all day on our home. It hurts to pay a bill that high when no one is home all day. So we decided to unplug all unused electronics, crank our thermostat up as high as our pooch can stand it, & keep the lights turned off in rooms we’re not in. The results are in & the bill for August is $159. That’s August folks. When I told Jay how well that worked he was equally shocked. We expected it would go down about $20 or $30. We never expected an $81 drop. So, we have another $81 to pile on a debt.
We shaved our grocery budget even more. Although I tried to bring our grocery budget in at $250, it finally settled at $300. I’ve told a couple of people what our grocery budget is & they just kind of look at me like it’s no big deal. The thing is we’re not eating out. We have a TIGHT restaurant budget set at $30 a month. That means every other meal is eaten from home. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. That budget rounds out to aprox. $4.84 per person per day & lands at about $1.61 per meal. It just can’t get much cheaper than that. If someone is eating out a lot then a $300 food budget doesn’t seem that frugal. For instance, I viewed another person’s budget & they allow $200 for groceries & $200 for eating out per month.
Low Points of August –
My family was down from Michigan & we had our annual Christmas in August. This was not a happiness low point by any means because we were able to spend time with our family. Budget wise it’s a low point because the money spent on gifts was not previously budgeted in. August was our first real month on a strict budget & planning. The previous months we were trying our own way & working on creating a plan for our little family. Previous to August we were like my mom stepping into a swimming pool – One step & screech at a time. =)
Another unexpected expense was my allergy & bronchitis medication. OUCH. That squeezed us pretty hard. We could have taken the funds out of our emergency fund but we really try not to touch that money so we paid it from our monthly income. Because there were no generics for what I was prescribed, the outcome wasn’t fun at all.
All in all we’re very happy with our August budget. I’ve heard that it takes about 3 months of budgeting before you actually get it right & it’s doable. I’ve also heard it takes 30 days to make a habit. August was our budget habit forming month & I know September will be completed with a better mindset. Our goal for September is to pay the last $265 of a debt & kill it. It’s time to get intense so we can eliminate payments!
Nevertheless ~
Monday, August 31, 2009
“Overcoming the Financial Giants"
We have had tremendous encouragement from our family & friends on our journey to become debt free in 2010. They are super supportive & are anxious to see us reach our goal. Their pats on the back & high fives have made our walk into financial freedom so much sweeter.
But for every loved one that is on our side there is also a person who can’t wait to give us their financial advice. Well, that’s what they call it anyway. ;) I frequently have people who are ready to discourage me. In previous months I’ll admit it’s worked a time or two. When I would review our bills they seemed intimidating & I looked like a grasshopper in their sight. Then I began finding ways, such as reading financial success stores, to give myself confidence so the next time Debbie Downer (insert wah-wah) came around. Along with changing my mindset towards debt, these actions caused me not to dwell in the negativity of others.
Get ready for the financial giants to rear their ugly heads & spew forth a passel of what they entitle information. This will happen immediately after you let someone know you want to be debt free & it likely won’t end until you become debt free. The cool part is when you’re debt free they aren’t able to tell you that you’ll never do it.
I had one of these experiences not long ago when someone began telling me that they have paid off some debt. We began a conversation about becoming debt free & I talked about how we were working hard to do so. Then came all the reasons why we’ll never make it. Those included having children, car payments, & the possibility that my leg could fall off from jungle rot which will shove us into a downward spiral of financial frenzy from which we will never recover. Gee, thanks.
My response wasn’t epic by any means. I replied, “We will be debt free by December 2010.” They just blinked at me. They had nothing to say. I can’t blame them. I mean, really, what do you say to the person who doesn’t believe you? What could they say after they spent 20 minutes explaining to me why my plan would never work? How are they supposed to reply to my simple statement?
The following day I listened to Dave Ramsey’s radio show. He said, “What your broke friends say about money doesn’t matter. Their plan isn’t working.” That’s the way I want to face financial giants & their negative input. I want to hit them with the facts & the facts are that their plan isn’t working but mine is. There’s no need to be arrogant or condescending. However, I have every right to be confident in our results & what God is doing in our finances. Being out of debt won’t seem so impossible next December. :)
Nevertheless ~
But for every loved one that is on our side there is also a person who can’t wait to give us their financial advice. Well, that’s what they call it anyway. ;) I frequently have people who are ready to discourage me. In previous months I’ll admit it’s worked a time or two. When I would review our bills they seemed intimidating & I looked like a grasshopper in their sight. Then I began finding ways, such as reading financial success stores, to give myself confidence so the next time Debbie Downer (insert wah-wah) came around. Along with changing my mindset towards debt, these actions caused me not to dwell in the negativity of others.
Get ready for the financial giants to rear their ugly heads & spew forth a passel of what they entitle information. This will happen immediately after you let someone know you want to be debt free & it likely won’t end until you become debt free. The cool part is when you’re debt free they aren’t able to tell you that you’ll never do it.
I had one of these experiences not long ago when someone began telling me that they have paid off some debt. We began a conversation about becoming debt free & I talked about how we were working hard to do so. Then came all the reasons why we’ll never make it. Those included having children, car payments, & the possibility that my leg could fall off from jungle rot which will shove us into a downward spiral of financial frenzy from which we will never recover. Gee, thanks.
My response wasn’t epic by any means. I replied, “We will be debt free by December 2010.” They just blinked at me. They had nothing to say. I can’t blame them. I mean, really, what do you say to the person who doesn’t believe you? What could they say after they spent 20 minutes explaining to me why my plan would never work? How are they supposed to reply to my simple statement?
The following day I listened to Dave Ramsey’s radio show. He said, “What your broke friends say about money doesn’t matter. Their plan isn’t working.” That’s the way I want to face financial giants & their negative input. I want to hit them with the facts & the facts are that their plan isn’t working but mine is. There’s no need to be arrogant or condescending. However, I have every right to be confident in our results & what God is doing in our finances. Being out of debt won’t seem so impossible next December. :)
Nevertheless ~
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
“It’s Super Fantastic Analogy Fun Time!”
When people see someone losing weight & wearing awesome new clothes the first thing they will ask is, “What are you doing?” The person who has lost the weight usually says, “I stopped eating brownies in my cereal & having a midnight snack of biscuits & gravy.” They will tell you the entire long process that involves changing their eating habits & picking up new ways to exercise.
The bottom line is basically they began to do what works & stopped doing what doesn’t work. No matter how great your cousin Anthony feels after dropping the 100 pounds & no matter how many times he volunteers to work a weight loss plan with you...nothing short of the apocalypse can force you into the gym.
I have seriously found that people view money management the same way as they view dieting. Since I’ve blogged/Tweeted/talked non-stop about getting out of debt I’ve had a lot of people tell me they want to do the same. The strange thing is, once I answer their questions concerning how we are finding success in finances they tend not to bring it up again. There has only been one person who has talked about it more than once. The others bailed.
There are probably several reasons this happens. One reason I figure is just plain old work. It takes work to get your finances under control & there is just no other way to put it. It takes time to review the budget, check the bank account weekly, save receipts, & the likes. It is time consuming, but gosh, that pile of cash at the end of the month is totally worth it. It’s like I’m paid to spend time doing something for myself! I like those apples!
Another reason is mindset. People may not feel confident in working on finances. Don’t worry about the big stuff yet. We’re just talking about writing down a bill or two. I was intimidated when I first started getting serious about finances & becoming debt free. Now, I’ve got two awesome readers to my very own financial guru blog! Okay, that was a wild joke, but still. :) But really, no one wants you to quote Roth IRA stats or annual percentage rates. That stuff comes later. Just get a pen & jot down your budget. No big deal. Painless.
The biggest thing for Jason & I was just getting intense about it. It took some time for me to get there & I messed around with a budget for a few months. Then I got crazy about it. I’m talking crazy like the cat lady who lives down the street. Well, except I don’t smell like I’ve bathed in felines. But you get my idea. Once I threw those numbers together for a couple of months I began to wonder how far we could get if we REALLY tried.
Here’s the short of it: Every day that you don’t plan or work with your finances is another day you can’t obtain your goals. Take baby steps Bob. Print the budget today, fill in some lines tomorrow, gather some receipts the following day, & before you know it you’ve got an entire month mapped out. Once the cash starts piling up, you’ll be chomping at the bits to see it happen again the following month.
Now go get ‘em Tiger! :)
Nevertheless ~
The bottom line is basically they began to do what works & stopped doing what doesn’t work. No matter how great your cousin Anthony feels after dropping the 100 pounds & no matter how many times he volunteers to work a weight loss plan with you...nothing short of the apocalypse can force you into the gym.
I have seriously found that people view money management the same way as they view dieting. Since I’ve blogged/Tweeted/talked non-stop about getting out of debt I’ve had a lot of people tell me they want to do the same. The strange thing is, once I answer their questions concerning how we are finding success in finances they tend not to bring it up again. There has only been one person who has talked about it more than once. The others bailed.
There are probably several reasons this happens. One reason I figure is just plain old work. It takes work to get your finances under control & there is just no other way to put it. It takes time to review the budget, check the bank account weekly, save receipts, & the likes. It is time consuming, but gosh, that pile of cash at the end of the month is totally worth it. It’s like I’m paid to spend time doing something for myself! I like those apples!
Another reason is mindset. People may not feel confident in working on finances. Don’t worry about the big stuff yet. We’re just talking about writing down a bill or two. I was intimidated when I first started getting serious about finances & becoming debt free. Now, I’ve got two awesome readers to my very own financial guru blog! Okay, that was a wild joke, but still. :) But really, no one wants you to quote Roth IRA stats or annual percentage rates. That stuff comes later. Just get a pen & jot down your budget. No big deal. Painless.
The biggest thing for Jason & I was just getting intense about it. It took some time for me to get there & I messed around with a budget for a few months. Then I got crazy about it. I’m talking crazy like the cat lady who lives down the street. Well, except I don’t smell like I’ve bathed in felines. But you get my idea. Once I threw those numbers together for a couple of months I began to wonder how far we could get if we REALLY tried.
Here’s the short of it: Every day that you don’t plan or work with your finances is another day you can’t obtain your goals. Take baby steps Bob. Print the budget today, fill in some lines tomorrow, gather some receipts the following day, & before you know it you’ve got an entire month mapped out. Once the cash starts piling up, you’ll be chomping at the bits to see it happen again the following month.
Now go get ‘em Tiger! :)
Nevertheless ~
Monday, August 24, 2009
"I love you baby, but I don't trust you."
One of the things I hear the most from people is that they do not share a bank account with their spouse. I’m not even going to sugar coat it & say “Maybe that’s working for you.” because I know it’s not. I’ve never ever talked to anyone financially secure who does not share a bank account with their spouse.
Of course, if you are in a “separate account” marriage then you want to tell me how great it’s working for you. But we both know it’s not. If it were, you would have no debt & currently be building wealth. Instead, you have very little security & while you’ve agreed with your spouse to “split the bills” you really have no idea what he/she is doing with the excess money. But some people secretly enjoy this because they have no accountability to their spouse for their own spending habits. So really it’s working out for everyone while the other spouse gets the blame. However, while it’s all “working out” for everyone today, it’s not good for anyone’s future.
Before I married Jason we had very serious talks about what we would do with our finances, how we would discipline/school/train our children, & what we could/couldn’t put up with in marriage. We chose to forfeit dance lessons for our reception & attend pre-marital counseling with a licensed counselor instead. I agreed with Jason when he said, “No one ever says they are sorry they have too good of a foundation when they are constructing their house.” For us, we were laying the foundation of our home so these discussions were critical.
Neither of us saw any reason to have separate bank account but we had two very good ones to share one. We trust each other & we have nothing to hide. Not only is our finances a great way to bring unity to our marriage but it also provides us each with a transparency & the ability to be real with each other.
Our joint account provides Jason with the ability to see where I tell every dollar to go. He can log in at any time & view everything. He rarely does, but he can. This provides the anti-secrecy thing to better work for us. It also provides us with the capability to see every single dollar that is coming in & because it’s combined we have better knowledge of the exact dollar amount we have. Although I primarily work with our finances, neither of us is in the dark. Jason has every opportunity to give suggestions when he views the statements or the budget.
If your success with separate accounts isn’t clearly visible then it’s likely not working for your home. I believe separate accounts are the outcome of selfish behavior in at least one of the spouses. I see it as selfishness because one spouse may be doing everything right, striving to pay the bills on time, & putting up money for Christmas while the other spouse pays the light bill late & then blows the rest on frivolous items/experiences.
I’ll end this post with a favorite phrase from Dr. Phil, “How’s that working out for ya?” You will always see the same outcome if you keep sowing the same actions.
Nevertheless =)
Of course, if you are in a “separate account” marriage then you want to tell me how great it’s working for you. But we both know it’s not. If it were, you would have no debt & currently be building wealth. Instead, you have very little security & while you’ve agreed with your spouse to “split the bills” you really have no idea what he/she is doing with the excess money. But some people secretly enjoy this because they have no accountability to their spouse for their own spending habits. So really it’s working out for everyone while the other spouse gets the blame. However, while it’s all “working out” for everyone today, it’s not good for anyone’s future.
Before I married Jason we had very serious talks about what we would do with our finances, how we would discipline/school/train our children, & what we could/couldn’t put up with in marriage. We chose to forfeit dance lessons for our reception & attend pre-marital counseling with a licensed counselor instead. I agreed with Jason when he said, “No one ever says they are sorry they have too good of a foundation when they are constructing their house.” For us, we were laying the foundation of our home so these discussions were critical.
Neither of us saw any reason to have separate bank account but we had two very good ones to share one. We trust each other & we have nothing to hide. Not only is our finances a great way to bring unity to our marriage but it also provides us each with a transparency & the ability to be real with each other.
Our joint account provides Jason with the ability to see where I tell every dollar to go. He can log in at any time & view everything. He rarely does, but he can. This provides the anti-secrecy thing to better work for us. It also provides us with the capability to see every single dollar that is coming in & because it’s combined we have better knowledge of the exact dollar amount we have. Although I primarily work with our finances, neither of us is in the dark. Jason has every opportunity to give suggestions when he views the statements or the budget.
If your success with separate accounts isn’t clearly visible then it’s likely not working for your home. I believe separate accounts are the outcome of selfish behavior in at least one of the spouses. I see it as selfishness because one spouse may be doing everything right, striving to pay the bills on time, & putting up money for Christmas while the other spouse pays the light bill late & then blows the rest on frivolous items/experiences.
I’ll end this post with a favorite phrase from Dr. Phil, “How’s that working out for ya?” You will always see the same outcome if you keep sowing the same actions.
Nevertheless =)
Friday, August 21, 2009
“Before I accept your proposal, I’d like to see your W-9.”
*Although I’d love to take credit for this title, a friend of mine said it not long ago & I absolutely loved it.*
May 3, 2008 was the day I married the coolest guy I’ve ever met. My heart was stolen by Jason more quickly than I care to admit & I’ve never regretted falling for him for even one fleeting second. Pre-marriage we were both living single in two separate households which meant that we were both paying two house payments, two electricity bills, & the list goes on. Money was tight for the both of us & there wasn’t much extra to be spent. So upon becoming happily married we then joyfully combined our income. I’m not going to even begin to sugar coat how awesome it felt to each of us to have that extra paycheck coming in & the bills basically cut in half by having one household. It felt like giant anvils had been removed.
For the first several months we really enjoyed not being overly concerned about our financial state. Now here’s the part where you’re waiting on me to tell you we charged $14,000 worth of madness on credit cards & plunged into a deep black hole of never ending debt. Well, we didn’t. We ate out with our friends, paid our bills, & took a retreat trip with our church group. The only real debt occurred when we purchased Jason’s new (to us) car because he desperately needed a newer one to make the forty-five minute drive to & from work daily. Even with that purchase, we tried very hard to make a wise choice & balance what would work for him along with something we liked.
Of course along with marriage comes the wife (that’s me!) wanting to celebrate every second of marriage by calling it an anniversary. :) “Awww, we’ve been married for seven days, three hours, forty minutes, twelve seconds, & twenty milliseconds! Did you get me a card?” We did celebrate a little bit the first six months because we’ll never get that time back. But our six month anniversary is the one that has been life changing for us. It began our debt free journey.
We returned home from eating a celebration dinner & settled in on the sofa. The budget factor had been in discussion for a couple of days prior. I had told Jason, “I really think we can live on less than this.” That night we discussed our views on money in depth. Let me add here that we had serious money talks before we got married. Finances should be a deal breaker or maker for any serious couple. Nine out of ten marriages end in divorce due to finances (Source: This isn’t a research paper…I used Google. Heehee) & I’m not willing to risk my marriage on those stats. The whole “We can make it because we’re in love” thing isn’t going to fly when you’re hungry & the bills need to be paid.
We mutually decided that we loved each other way too much for money to always limit our choices in life. The budget began. We wrote down, erased, scratched out, calculated, & made a spreadsheet. When that madness was finally over I exclaimed, “We should have an extra $200 a month! Where’s it going?!” The truth was that we had no idea. That’s what a written down budget will do for you. Yes, it stinks to spend an evening writing down every single bill you have when you could be watching your “stories” on TV. But when you find that $200 at the end of it, you begin to realize how crucial that money can be to your family if you stop buying $200 worth of Starbucks, lighters, & plastic roses from the gas station per month. Check out the links provided to print FREE budgets that will help point you in the right direction.
Nevertheless -
http://tiny.cc/IrregularIncome
http://tiny.cc/MonthlyBudget
http://tiny.cc/QuickBudget
May 3, 2008 was the day I married the coolest guy I’ve ever met. My heart was stolen by Jason more quickly than I care to admit & I’ve never regretted falling for him for even one fleeting second. Pre-marriage we were both living single in two separate households which meant that we were both paying two house payments, two electricity bills, & the list goes on. Money was tight for the both of us & there wasn’t much extra to be spent. So upon becoming happily married we then joyfully combined our income. I’m not going to even begin to sugar coat how awesome it felt to each of us to have that extra paycheck coming in & the bills basically cut in half by having one household. It felt like giant anvils had been removed.
For the first several months we really enjoyed not being overly concerned about our financial state. Now here’s the part where you’re waiting on me to tell you we charged $14,000 worth of madness on credit cards & plunged into a deep black hole of never ending debt. Well, we didn’t. We ate out with our friends, paid our bills, & took a retreat trip with our church group. The only real debt occurred when we purchased Jason’s new (to us) car because he desperately needed a newer one to make the forty-five minute drive to & from work daily. Even with that purchase, we tried very hard to make a wise choice & balance what would work for him along with something we liked.
Of course along with marriage comes the wife (that’s me!) wanting to celebrate every second of marriage by calling it an anniversary. :) “Awww, we’ve been married for seven days, three hours, forty minutes, twelve seconds, & twenty milliseconds! Did you get me a card?” We did celebrate a little bit the first six months because we’ll never get that time back. But our six month anniversary is the one that has been life changing for us. It began our debt free journey.
We returned home from eating a celebration dinner & settled in on the sofa. The budget factor had been in discussion for a couple of days prior. I had told Jason, “I really think we can live on less than this.” That night we discussed our views on money in depth. Let me add here that we had serious money talks before we got married. Finances should be a deal breaker or maker for any serious couple. Nine out of ten marriages end in divorce due to finances (Source: This isn’t a research paper…I used Google. Heehee) & I’m not willing to risk my marriage on those stats. The whole “We can make it because we’re in love” thing isn’t going to fly when you’re hungry & the bills need to be paid.
We mutually decided that we loved each other way too much for money to always limit our choices in life. The budget began. We wrote down, erased, scratched out, calculated, & made a spreadsheet. When that madness was finally over I exclaimed, “We should have an extra $200 a month! Where’s it going?!” The truth was that we had no idea. That’s what a written down budget will do for you. Yes, it stinks to spend an evening writing down every single bill you have when you could be watching your “stories” on TV. But when you find that $200 at the end of it, you begin to realize how crucial that money can be to your family if you stop buying $200 worth of Starbucks, lighters, & plastic roses from the gas station per month. Check out the links provided to print FREE budgets that will help point you in the right direction.
Nevertheless -
http://tiny.cc/IrregularIncome
http://tiny.cc/MonthlyBudget
http://tiny.cc/QuickBudget
Thursday, August 20, 2009
"What do I have to offer? Not much." ;)
This isn’t the kind of blog where you will read about my crash to the bottom of the economy & how I clawed my way back up. It’s not the blog that references Charles Schwab or lists interesting stock tips. I’m not a professional writer & my greatest fault is throwing in or removing too many commas in a sentence. I’m rarely eloquent & I tend to write exactly like I talk. In fact, I’m sure my dear friend who is an English teacher would already be circling with her red pen by now. :)
This blog is for people like me & it will contain my journey to becoming debt free. I’m sure you’ll have read everything I have to say somewhere before from people who write it or say it a lot better than I do. I’m not claiming to be a financial scholar & I am not interested in giving you my two cents on your personal debt. What I am interested in is letting others know what I’m doing & what is going right or wrong in my quest for financial freedom. As my brother said, if this blog gains no readers it will still be a success journal for me.
I read another blog once that said, “Frugality isn’t for everyone.” So I’m keeping in mind that my way isn’t going to be your exact way. Where I pinch pennies, you may splurge. Where I can’t do without an item, you may view it as an unnecessary expense. We’re different people with different goals. I may splurge or spend in one area & tighten the belt in another but if it works for me then that’s all that matters.
I’ll eventually get comfortable writing here & throw in my sense of humor into my posts. This has to be fun for me because frankly, work & school are sucking the life out of me! ;) I get tired of seriousness 24/7. It’s like being friends with a vacuum cleaner manual. So, let’s have some fun & meanwhile I’ll pay a few bills off. :)
Nevertheless ~
This blog is for people like me & it will contain my journey to becoming debt free. I’m sure you’ll have read everything I have to say somewhere before from people who write it or say it a lot better than I do. I’m not claiming to be a financial scholar & I am not interested in giving you my two cents on your personal debt. What I am interested in is letting others know what I’m doing & what is going right or wrong in my quest for financial freedom. As my brother said, if this blog gains no readers it will still be a success journal for me.
I read another blog once that said, “Frugality isn’t for everyone.” So I’m keeping in mind that my way isn’t going to be your exact way. Where I pinch pennies, you may splurge. Where I can’t do without an item, you may view it as an unnecessary expense. We’re different people with different goals. I may splurge or spend in one area & tighten the belt in another but if it works for me then that’s all that matters.
I’ll eventually get comfortable writing here & throw in my sense of humor into my posts. This has to be fun for me because frankly, work & school are sucking the life out of me! ;) I get tired of seriousness 24/7. It’s like being friends with a vacuum cleaner manual. So, let’s have some fun & meanwhile I’ll pay a few bills off. :)
Nevertheless ~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)